


why stony and stucky are stupid ships - because Stonucky is the best!

by Tarash



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Bang, Deliberate Bad Fanfic, Except Loki, M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Threesomes totally fix everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:46:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6355780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarash/pseuds/Tarash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I decided to remix Why stony and stucky are stupid ships into a better story with a THREESOME and LOKI because threesomes and Loki make everything better.</p>
<p>Also I left out the Hetalia crossover bit cause IDK what that is???</p>
            </blockquote>





	why stony and stucky are stupid ships - because Stonucky is the best!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [why stony and stucky are stupid ships](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6139185) by Anonymous. 



Steve didn’t understand why Tony and Bucky had to keep fighting each other! He liked Tony. He liked Bucky. Obviously tony and Bucky should like each other! But they didn’t! Instead, they kept punching each other in the face.

“Ugh!” grunted Tony, as Bucky punched him in the face. Even though Tony was wearing his Iron Man armour, it still hurt. “Dammit Bucky!” He punched Bucky back.

“Ugh!” groaned Bucky in pain. His raven tresses fell across his eyes for a moment as he glared at Iron Man. “Go away! Leave me and Steve alone! You make him angry!”

“No!” yelled Tony. “You leave Steve alone! You make him sad!”

Steve sighed as Tony and Bucky kept fighting. He needed advice on how to stop people from fighting and talk to each other instead. But who could he turn to? Who would give sensible advice about interpersonal relationships? No one he knew could give such advice.

No one… except Loki!

“What is it?” said Loki, who was conveniently there.

“I need sensible advice about interpersonal relationships,” explained Steve.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Well Tony and Bucky keep fighting and saying the other should stay away from me because they are making me angry/sad,” explained Steve. “And I would like them to stop fighting because well, Iron Man is pretty strong and so is Bucky and I like them both and I am worried they might get hurt! Or might hurt someone else!” He turned to Loki. “What do I do, Loki?”

“Have sex with each other, of course,” Loki said. “Fighting is foreplay amongst you humans as well, right?”

“Uhm,” said Steve, blushing fiercely because he was a virgin who couldn’t drive. “What’s foreplay?”

“Never mind,” said Loki. “What matters is that Tony and Bucky are grunting and groaning at each other and getting hot and sweaty. They’re practically having sex already! Go and join them to make sure they don’t hurt each other.”

Even though Steve had never had sex he thought Loki’s idea was great. “That idea is great, I will join them in a sexy threeway now!” said Steve and ran back to the fight. He took off his clothes since he knew that in order to have sex you had to be naked. So he was naked. “Bucky! Tony! Stop fighting!”

Tony and Bucky paused fighting to stare at Steve. He was really pretty with his muscles and everything and his dick was also really big but not like scary big if you know what I mean. Tony and Bucky immediately got hard-ons which was painful for Tony since he hadn’t made his Iron Man suit spacious enough for his own hard penis.

Steve smiled, happy he had got Bucky’s and Tony’s attention. “Okay guys, instead of fighting let’s have sex instead. That is way nicer for everyone!”

Tony began to take off his Iron Man armour and Bucky took off his armour and clothes and soon they were all naked and started making out with each other and touching each other’s naked bodies. It was really hot and also they did stuff with their penises and butts. Steve had sex. Bucky  had sex. Tony had sex. They all had sex except Loki.

“This was great,” said Bucky. “We should’ve done that ages ago.”

“Well you know what they say. Make love not war!” said Tony.

“I understood that reference,” said Steve.  


End file.
